Youth
This page is designed to answer questions which young adults often wish to ask about paedophiles.
When you think about paedophilia, you probably think about people who commit harmful acts towards children. Despite the fact that you have heard those stories, it’s likely that you haven’t considered the fact that there are people who are attracted to children who don’t act on their attraction. You don’t usually hear about paedophiles who aren’t abusive, because paedophiles often don’t tell anyone that they’re attracted to children. People who are attracted to childen and don’t abuse are also paedophiles, but they don’t harm children or young people. Having a certain attraction does not make a person an abuser, which you will probably be told if you discuss a sexual orientation such as homosexuality.
So what is paedophilia?
“Paedophilia” is actually a medical term which describes someone who is sexually attracted to young children, not someone who tries to have sex with children. Referring to a paedophile as a sex abuser is like referring to a bad song as “pretty gay.” It’s not technically correct and it’s pretty offensive. Paedophilia is officially described as a mental illness, but many people view it as a sexual orientation. An attraction to children sounds pretty weird, but many people have this orientation. One study found that around 33% of adult males may be attracted to children, but obviously many are too frightened to admit their attraction to other people.
Isn’t it okay to attack paedophiles, because everybody else attacks them?
It’s not right to attack paedophiles for the same reason that it’s not right to attack gay people. Like homosexuals, paedophiles didn’t choose to be attracted to who they’re attracted to and most wish that they could be attracted to adult women. Most people who attack paedophiles have their own problems and only attack paedophiles to feel better about their own issues.
But my parents think that paedophiles are evil and dangerous….
Of course they will. Your parents have been indoctrinated, kind of like how the Nazis indoctrinated people to hate Jews. They really think that paedophiles are evil, because that’s what they were told. You can break the cycle of indoctrination by ignoring the anti-paedophile ideas which you have been “taught” by people who believe you can’t think for yourself.
Is it okay for adults to have sex with younger people?
I don’t think that adults should have sex with younger people. You can accept paedophiles without accepting the actions of paedophiles who are less able to control themselves. Accepting paedophilia does not mean accepting such actions.
- So you believe that young adults under the age of consent should be arrested for having sex with each other?
No. I believe that young adults of very similar ages (for example a 14 year old and a 13 year old) should not be arrested for having sexual relationships with each other, but I recommend that you avoid such relationships because lawmakers have made such actions an imprisonable offence.
Should I avoid someone who is a paedophile?
You should not avoid someone just because he is a paedophile. You should only avoid someone if you think he is intending to abuse you, which is not especially likely even for a paedophile. When you consider that 33% of people have an attraction to children, you will already know many paedophiles who are not abusive. Many people who sexually abuse young people are not actually paedophiles, in fact they’re often a young person’s own parent. That does not mean that your parents are abusers. Your parents almost certainly care a lot about you. But assuming that paedophiles are the “bad guys” is a mistake.
In reality, paedophiles are just people like you, and most of them don’t abuse children.